Recently, I’ve learned that, sometimes, you need to let people go. There was someone in my life who gave me a lot of anxiety. My feelings for them were confused. I felt they were too blunt, saying things that most people who have the sense to keep to themselves.
I overthought what to do with this person for a long time. I wondered what I owed them. We were really only friends. Very distant ones at that. Despite this distance, they had a big effect on my mental health.
For several reasons, I realized I needed to distance myself. I’ve been working on my mental health, and seeing this person would bring me back into old habits I had been trying hard to kick.
After I cut the connection, I felt guilty. I wondered if they needed me, if I was giving them support by just being there. But I couldn’t give my support any longer. I’ve come to accept that they’re gone. I have already seen a significant improvement in terms of my focus and clarity.
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3 replies on “”
A skill too many of us learn late in life but it’s an important one.
I have had similar experiences – it’s in that moment when I hear that small distant voice suggesting I use this tool, “…when the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go…” it is in that moment that I don’t have to play the game of “tug-of-war” which compounds my life.
Funny you should feel the same way; A good friend of years just used too blunt words (for others behind their back) that also hit me in the wrong way. I waited till the evening was over, I hugged her (as bye-bye friend?) but de-friended her or ghosted her immediately. She doesn’t know that reasons she said she hates this other person also describes ME. Ciao Friend.